The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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