her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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