well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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