I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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