the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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