This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
