We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
