His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
