ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
