You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
