According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
