not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
tell me about the fingering
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