At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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