Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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