I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
