What did we do last night that was yellow?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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