the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think a kid would responsible me up
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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