I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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