too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
