do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
