I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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