I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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