I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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