Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
