You just made me feel so damn special
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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