In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
