It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
