How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize