We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
