By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
