In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
