But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I will die if light touches me.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
