okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
