Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
