don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
