I am puke
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
