Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
