She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize