Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
