I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
