i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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