No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
