I'm jealous of your bromance
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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