my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i think im in europe. pls send help
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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