he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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