Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
