You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
