Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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