brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
