Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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