Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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