is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
