Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
