I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
