im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
