I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
