She is in my trunk
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
