birth control should be required to get into college
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
