Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
