the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize