New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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