The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
